Marina Vile, LMHC
Navigating trauma is complicated. Navigating trauma, triggers, and the daily stressors of life with a partner is downright difficult.
Maybe you find yourself triggered, wanting to connect more deeply but feel stuck.
Maybe you feel responsible, unlovable, or powerless.
Maybe you find yourself in a constant dance with your partner that doesn’t feel good.
Maybe you want to communicate, but don’t even know how to start.
Maybe you find yourself grieving years of your life because of trauma.
I work with you to navigate trauma to address this because I truly believe that you deserve to live a life not defined by the worst parts of it.
I work with you to re-tell your story in ways that is empowering. I know. It sounds impossible right now, but I promise we can get there. I work with you to help re-write these beliefs and remind you of where you are and where you’ve come from (listen, if you are seeking out therapy you’ve already come such a long way). I also utilize some approaches (insert gibberish therapy terms) to address physical manifestations of trauma including difficulty sleeping, nightmares, and physical pain.
Trauma feels even bigger when you are in a relationship. It can be so difficult communicating needs, triggers, and emotions to our partner, especially when we have a history of people not caring about these things. Sometimes we end up in a negative cycle we can’t get out of. I work with you and your partner to navigate the hardest stuff and go deeper in understanding of each other in order to show up with love, compassion, and a dynamic that works for you.
My Story
Growing up in poverty in rural Missouri, I found comfort in rolling thunderstorms, fireflies light up the forest, cicadas, and swimming in the muddy lake near my childhood home. The home I grew up in lacked running water and had holes in the roof and floor. Neglect put me in danger—from my community, lack of medical care, and siblings who struggled with addiction and/or perpetuated abuse they experienced. To cope, I would have long conversations with a make-believe adult self who understood and reminded me that somehow we’ll get through it.
Despite all odds, I attended community college and then a university and finally received my masters degree, often struggling to have food and stable housing.
As I became an adult, I found myself re-creating traumatic patterns. I found myself in relationships again and again that felt neither loving nor present. Healing is the hardest thing I’ve done in my life. I had to learn for the first time that I was/am deserving of kindness and processed what happened to me. I had to learn to set boundaries and accept that other’s experience of my boundaries as “selfish” or “mean” was not the truth of who I am.
Today, I am working to continue to sink into the safety of my life now, while allowing myself space for the eb and flow of grief of past trauma. I live modestly in a little blue house with a large native and vegetable garden in Vancouver, WA. I live with my wife- Kate, our two dogs- Ari and Juniper, and cat- Maple.
Returning home to yourself is a lifelong journey. We don’t move on from the things that have hurt us and when we accept that we can’t undo pain, we can create the most beautiful versions of our life now.
Trauma is often colored by a feeling of aloneness. You didn’t deserve to be alone then and you don’t deserve to hold carry your trauma alone now. It is honor, genuinely, to watch survivors of trauma and abuse heal and create beautiful lives with loving and meaningful relationships.
Being here is brave. I am rooting for you on your journey.